4:30 AM

I went to bed at 4:30 am.  I haven't done that since the last time I was stuck between the Honduran and Nicaraguan borders.  Why so late (early)?  I was working on a deadline for the launch of a new study software project.  Actually, it is more like an invention because what is getting ready to be released has never been done before - never.

I am the boss of the project because I was the unlikely one to whom God gave the idea.  It was an epiphany and I can claim no credit for the spark.  However, this little project with a small set of geeks has turned into this really giant thing that people really believe (perhaps, more than I) will succeed.  Success for some of these people will be viewed in terms of money or how many people are using the tool.  Success, for me, will be defined by the quality of the tool and it paying back the few dedicated investors that wanted to take it from our pet project to the world.  These guys just want to see the tool used.  I agree.

So as I write, it is turnig out to be another late night.  The guys gathered at 9:30 and are in it until we drop.  We have the tools and, tonight, we will update and link all the new additions.

It is funny how you can really hang in there, push for a deadline and wear yourself out for something you believe in.  Sometimes, I even hang in there doing things I don't really want to do simply because I believe in keeping my word - honoring my commitments.  It helps if the motivation is greater than money because money is only worth so much and is a fickle motivator that can easily slip away.

I am glad that God has won my heart in this same way.  For the most part, these days I follow Him even when I am tired, exhausted and, sometimes, not sure I want to follow.  When I follow, I follow because I believe in Him.  I follow because I want to keep my word and honor my commitment.  I have tried following for the result.  It doesn't work because that very motive destroys the way God works.  The result doesn't come and I found myself wandering and wondering.

Why do you do what you do?  Why don't you do what you don't do?