Parent Audience

It is so important that we understand the audiences that we teach.  In this series, we are using normal stages of human life, society and growth to help us identify, understand and target our audiences as we teach.  If you know a teacher, leader or speaker, invite them to join us daily here at dougburrier.com.  The rest of the articles in this series can be found using the Navigation Link "Teaching - Art and Call" to the right of this article.

Parents are wierd birds at times.  They often raise standards and demand behaviors of their children that are higher and more disciplined than their own standards and behaviors.  The cause of this seemingly unfair action may be regrets over their failures or offering their children a better life than they had but, without a doubt, this action is the result of good desires for their children.

It would be great if all parents lived everything that they taught and many do.  It would be great if parents were the shining examples of transparency, humility, grace, dedication, discipline, learning, purity and righteousness that they so desire for their children.  But let's be real - very few are true examples all the time of what they desire for their children.  Nonetheless, the good parent is fervent in wanting the best education and experience for their child.  Even the poor parent will "rear up" and defend their child and demand the best treatment when challenged.

Parents might be critical of their child but others had better not be.  Parents might know the faults of their children but others better not point them out in public or in criticism.  Parents might yell at their children (whether they should or not) but others better not yell at them.  Parents might expose their children to the affects of second hand  drinking or drugs but others had better not offer them alchohol or drugs.  Parents are often very contradictory in what they portray and what they demand others portray.

Parents do not take criticism about parenting skills well.  Only the truly objective and distant can often pierce the veil of critiquing their skills without anger and retribution.  Those closer and more intimate can help, critique, pray and suggest only when they are invited to participate in a time of regret, breaking, questioning or healthy learning.  Others can try to "butt in" but they will be "butted out" quickly. 

Parents inherently understand their responsibility whether they carry it out or not.  Parents have children on loan from God.  The kids will grow up and, as they grow up, the parents simply have to love, provide for and teach them about the Truth.  Ultimately, it is a simple but very complex job. 

When you teach an audience that has primary care responsibility and the related accountability for another person or group of people, be careful and pick strategies that give you the right to teach (which will be seen as critiquing) this group.  Here are some helpful tips:

• Don't criticize those under their care.  Don't use those under their accountability as examples.
• Accept that the parent audience may have an entirely different set of rules for themselves and their followers.  Teach in such a way that you challenge them to be transparent and great examples so that their followers can succeed.
  
• Teach objectively (though this is good for all situations - it is absolutely essential here) using truths that are essentially irrefutable. 
  
• If you are not an invited teacher or a teacher to whom they have come but rather a regular teacher who is just arriving at the topic that will teach the parent audience, speak to the topic, not the people.
• Do not give your opinion at any point.
  
• Do not speak against the parent audience to the followers.  Sometimes they are in the same room.
• Assume that the parent audience wants the best for those under their primary care.

The parent audience can be found when training other teachers, evaluating leaders, appraising ministries, leading church conferences, and doing critical analysis of performance by divisions/departments - especially in the presence of other leaders.  If you begin to use the "children" as an example, expect a battle.  It is only natural for the "parent" to defend the "child", even if the child is wrong.  If you open the discussion to opinion, it will not matter what you are trying to teach, it will be muddied with emotion.  Probably the best question to ask is, "What do I want to acheive in teaching?  What is the end goal and how would I best embrace these truths?"  It is so important to realize that "parent" leaders are intimately and passionately attached not only to their "children" but to their method of leading. 

The wise teacher of this audience will present truths as appropriate but stay objective, a bit distant, very real, and not be judgemental.