1998 Solomon's Son

I sat at my desk in one chair and he sat across the room from me in a couch. It was a first in ministry for me – truly a first.

“It isn’t like I want your job but …” the conversation continued. I thought, “It is always okay for followers to challenge you with critiques or complaints (at least for a while) because it checks you. Listen to him.”

“I am not trying to get your job, however…” the conversation progressed into a rebuttal of my explanation to the previous set of comments. Still patient, probably more if I understood the lifecycle of a leader at that point in my ministry, I continued to listen.

“I know that I could not get your job right now but I think I…” the conversation moved into another phase of rebuttal of the answers just provided to his previous rebuttal.

Over the months previous, Solomon had gotten pretty cocky in group meetings, couldn’t go along with any of his teammates’ ideas and began to separate himself with comments like, “I don’t know if I can support that – it is just not what I want to do.” I was a youth minister with a highly evolved team where each person had specific jobs and was cross-trained in someone else’s job. There was no “me”, “us time” or “I” with those people – while on the job (and that was whenever they were around kids) drawing the teens to God was the only focus.

“Solomon,” I finally butted in, “It is okay. It is very clear that you want my job and that you think you can do it better…”

“No, that isn’t what I am saying!” he interrupted.

“It’s okay. I am not upset or offended. My inclination is to give you my job for a month or two so that you can grow, find out where you are prepared and where you aren’t. You are a very capable leader. However, it is my job – the job God called me to and the job the church expects me to do – so I cannot give it to you. With that said, I can offer to help train you more, help you find a leadership position in a ministry or whatever will help.”

Silence followed.

Since that day in my office, two or three great friends and two or three acquaintances at the Church have shown up and had this same discussion. I have tried (like one of my mentors did me) to warn them and teach them that the leadership is not to be desired or craved over the ministry that is done. Many times emerging leaders get too focused on wanting to be leaders and wanting to progress. They often go through knowing everything and listening less to others.  In so doing, not only do they get “heady” but they cheat themselves out of the proper development of a leader and much learning.

Leaders should find comfort in a slower track, being developed under existing leaders, learning all they can before they lead alone so that we as leaders screw up less churches and people. Anyway, it is always better to be selected to be a leader than to claim it yourself. Show them you can lead and someone will put it to good use.

I think of it like tennis. If you always want to win and be admired, you can always find an easy mark, game or groupie. If you want a fair and even game, you simply need to find an equal to play with. However, if you want to improve and get better, then you had better find a better player and a big dose of humility. You have to find yourself lesser as you master new skills.

We may think that we are better than our city's baseball manager – but he has the job and we are watching him work. We many even be better than him but he better have a winning record to show because a whining record is not nearly as impressive. If you slow down, make sure, and do the job of a leader well, the very leader above you will probably give you part if not all of his job. And if he doesn’t someone will.

It wasn’t a month or so before Solomon left to find a ministry to work in. It has been a rough road – it could have been easier if he didn’t have to lay claim to it.