1999 Chair Guy

Chair Guy was a friend.  We worked in the trenches together and worked alongside each other in project after project.  We were brothers in Upsilon Mu Chi.  We laughed.  We got mad at sin.  Our relationship was pretty normal until he was ordained and joined the upper level Leadership Group. Something began to happen and I first noticed it when he kept losing his cool with people because they would not set the sanctuary chairs up right.  "If no one else will do it, then I will have to do it right.  Just let me do it!"  Then this really wonderful guy got caught up in a heated debate over whether the wood trim around the windows should be overpainted white or not.  He really got upset over the carpet and the idea of putting in lawn sprinklers almost sent him over the edge.  What was going on?

He began to call me "Dougy" in the Leader Meetings.  If he thought it was going to get to me - he thought right, though I tried never to give him satisfaction.  He violated the team rule of: the Leaders find unanimity and have no opinion of their own when talking to others.  He created confusing discussions in classes and small groups because of his unrest.  It just kept getting worse.   Chair's ministry at church culminated after many sidebars with people who both supported the church and a few who did not as he announced his "surprise" resignation in a Leaders' Meeting.  Perfectly staged for emotion, reaction and the like, the moment was spoiled by a wise leader who simply said, "Well, we regret that you are resigning but you are a man of God so we will take you at your word."  There was a little discussion and the group that had been torn, unanimously and without question accepted his resignation.  The silence that followed was filled with a few handshakes, hugs and, "Well, I guess I better get going."

The latter days were filled with disappointment for Chair Guy.  It seemed that most every idea that he had met with some resistance from others (sometimes me) in the church.  However, Chair was, and is, a hard worker who loves his kids and participates in church with the others who participate.  He will struggle on through the worst of times and hang in there.  He doesn't serve at Northwest anymore and hasn't since around 2000 but he has stayed at his new church.  He knows how to laugh.  I wonder sometimes if Chair grew as much as I did and if in the end, he was better off for his time at Northwest.

Here is what I learned.  Without mentoring, upper level leadership can kill a person.   I think that is what Paul had in mind when he said, "But an elder must not be a new believer, or he might be too proud of himself and be judged guilty just as the devil was." (1 Ti 3:6-7 NCV)  I am not sure that "new believer" means just a recent convert but perhaps it is more in light of Hebrews 6 and can refer to any of us who have not "moved on to the greater things."  Anyway, spiritual leaders need to lead and have no opinion of their own.  There is no place for politics or "winning" in spiritual leadership.  Some issues should never be handled by spiritual leaders such as paint choices and carpet colors.  When I find myself ready to have a sidebar, I go find Jesus.  Leadership is not about doing but being and getting people to the right place, in the right time and in the right method.  

Perhaps Chair had the talents for upper level leadership but was not called.  Perhaps the church got him in over his head.  Perhaps Chair should have let other people do it their own or not have chosen to die on a hill called "the paint color of the trim."  Regardless of the cause -  failure to choose God, peace and unity will always separate believers and hinder the lost from finding God.  I hope that Chair has found peace because he deserves peace - he's a really neat guy.